Power of Being “Under Construction”

When I was in my second last year of high school I was told that my school was about to undergo some serious reconstruction. An exciting first thought that led to a disappointing after thought It wouldn't be completed until after I had graduated.

The EXACT same situation occurred in university, which made me think, “Just my luck, AGAIN!”

After university, I moved back to Toronto for 8 months during which time the major streets I live near went under heavy “road improvements”.

Yet again, more construction.

When I moved to London I seriously thought I was free from it all until I was very shortly disproven. First my street, then my area’s high road and now, MY NEIGHBOURS HOUSE!

So, after years of thinking (and sometimes screaming) “WHY ME?” I started to think about how this relates to life and this is what I came up with:

Life is “under construction”…that is, to change, to progress, to develop. It’s about getting rid of the old to welcome in the new.

For years I believed that “construction” was following me and I hated it. Now I realize it’s just a simple reminder that I am a work in progress. I can choose to change or be the same.

So can you.

On November 4, 2008 history was made. The world embraced the change it knows it needs.

We can change. Yes, we can.

For many, December is the holiday season. It is busy, fast paced and often quite daunting. Before it officially starts GO UNDER CONSTRUCTION and give yourself an early “gift”!

I once read that if something ‘new’ feels easy, it’s not something new!

CHALLENGE yourself. This month do something you ACTUALLY find to be difficult. But remember that before you can have construction, you have to have some deconstruction.

Get out there and talk to that boy or girl you think is hot, ask your boss for that raise you deserve and dare to tell a friend what you really think.

Power of Perception

PERCEPTION = REALITY

What we see is what we get.

In order to change your reality, you must begin by changing your perception.

This concept may appear simple, yet its power is undeniable.

Try it, see what happens.

Power of ‘Systems’

Recently I read a book called ‘Don’t Waste your Talent’ written by Bob McDonald and Don E. Hutchinson, which takes the reader on a journey towards creating his or her own ‘Personal Vision’.

The most poignant message of the book was about how deeply our ‘systems’ affect us and our life choices. They use the word ‘system’ to describe the many social groups we are a part of, like our family, our school, our place of work, the city we live in and so forth.

Often we get so caught up in assuming the role our systems want or need us to be that we forget to look inside ourselves to ask , “Who do I want to be?” or “What is the role I choose to play?”

Take a moment to recognize all the systems you currently belong to. Then ask yourself, “What affect are these systems having on my life decisions and goals?”

These social systems become structures that heavily influence and, in a sense, determine our actions. We don’t want to disrupt the social world by acting in a way that threatens the structure ….right?

Wrong!

I say…

Why not push the boundaries?

Why not step out of our comfort zone?

Sometimes it feels like society writes us a script, and we simply read from it. So are we just followers, a part in everyone else’s play?

Through my work as a Youth Life Coach I see the effect that our systems can have, if we let them. It feels like people are programmed by their systems to always take the right “next step”; may that be going to university after high school or having children after getting married. But is that what you TRULY want?

Perhaps your answer is yes….but don’t just assume it to be YES. Ask yourself. Question the system. Don’t just be a follower.

Take control of your life and have the courage to get what YOU want out of it.

Power of Frost

For several years Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken" has greatly influenced the way I live my life.

More specifically, the last three lines have always pushed me to walk boldly, take risks and reach the highest of heights.



The Road Not Taken
By: Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Now, think...

When faced with the same position as Frost once was, would you take the road less traveled by?

It could make all the difference...

Power of the ‘Universe’

A few months ago I had an encounter with the “universe” (Energy, God, Karma, Chance, Coincidence, or whatever you choose to call it). I found a phone on the tube and chose to take it, call the last numbers dialed and find a way to return it to its rightful owner. After dialing three people, I had almost given up when finally a Mr. Ed Stanley, an employee of the owner’s phone, picked up. He asked to meet me across town at Liverpool Street Station. I agreed and proceeded to get on to the next tube heading eastbound.

After returning the phone, I headed back down into the tube. Just moments before reaching the westbound, platform a woman stopped me to ask for directions.

Naturally, I stopped and helped her as best I could. As I began to step onto the platform I could hear the sounds of the doors closing and in my mind, all I could think was “JUST MY LUCK!” But then magically THEY OPENED for a split second, just enough time for me to hop, skip and jump right on.

As I landed on the train, a man looked up at me and said “It’s like you have a magnetic field around you”. I smiled and thought, “Just my luck…”

So why am I telling you this story? There are so many conclusions one could draw.

For starters, givers receive. The universe repays you. What goes around comes around.

What do you think?

I think we could all play with the ‘universe’ more often. Instead of automatically saying NO…just say YES.

Try it on and see what happens.

Power of a Final Verdict

The other day I was labeled as “Strait-laced” by someone I have never met before. I found myself caught off guard and rather defensive. Uncertain of his precise meaning, I quickly responded that in my opinion I could not possibly be considered as “strait-laced”.

The following day I felt a similar amount of distress over this judgment so I began to search for the literal meaning. This is what I found:

1. Exaggeratedly proper

2. Excessively strict in behaviour, morality, or opinions

The thing is, if one were to judge someone based simply on their appearance, I can understand how they could come to the conclusion that they are “exaggeratedly proper”. Yet in my view, it is near to impossible to determine that someone is “excessively strict in behaviour, morality, or opinions” based solely on their physical appearance.

I will admit that I am clearly sitting in the defendant’s seat however I still can’t figure out what could possibly have led him to this conclusion. I was wearing a hot pink shirt with black polka dots, messy hair and a huge hole in my tights… exaggeratedly proper? No… excessively strict in behaviour, morality, or opinions? Maybe….

This incident opened my eyes to how often we label, categorize and pigeonhole people.

How often do you find yourself unnecessarily putting a label on someone or something without reason?

In a sense a judgment is like a final verdict; one must support their conclusion with evidence. We consequently prove to ourselves that our original thought, which then became a judgment, is now the only possible conclusion. We make ourselves right.

As a coach I regularly hear my clients judging themselves. Similar to the judgment of others, they search for evidence to make their thoughts right.

How often do you judge your actions, appearance or beliefs based on false evidence?

The problem is that sometimes we make ourselves right for the incorrect reasons. That is, we don’t want to be wrong.

When do you make yourself right to cover up being wrong?

For a moment let’s substitute judgment for compassion. Imagine a world where we all came from a place of openness, consideration and kindness rather than asserting our narrow minded beliefs and final verdicts on both ourselves and others.

Let’s try it out!

I request that you, yes YOU, challenge yourself to replace each judgment you make in the next month with a thought of compassion.

Power of Finding ‘Waldo’ or ‘Wally’

Do you remember the book “Where’s Waldo?” For us North Americans his name was Waldo but in UK he is known as Wally. Whether you called him ‘Waldo’ or ‘Wally’ is irrelevant, the point is that most of us used to spend hours trying to find him on a page full of other characters, unique settings and bright colours. I remember days going by as I sat searching for little Waldo in his red and white stripy shirt and his google-eyed glasses.

Recently I was having a chat with a friend about his direction in life. Like most of my friends who have recently graduated from university, he has no idea what he wants to do. While expressing thoughts about how he feels like he should be doing SOMETHING, he maintains that he just can’t pin point what that SOMETHING is.

Some find it helpful to be rational and practical when planning their future, direction or purpose, but I believe that when one dreams, envisions, and lets their mind expand to see the world of possibilities, they gain the most momentum.

Inside everyone lies this deep sensation that should remind of them of their life’s ‘purpose’. Deeply embedded into what I perceive as our inner core, it sometimes feels hard to reach yet you KNOW it’s there. Similarly, when looking at a page out of “Where’s Waldo” you find it difficult to see him YET you know he is there…somewhere.

Consider a page from “Where’s Waldo?” to be similar to your life and Waldo to be your life’s purpose. When you initially try to find Waldo all you can see are the things that CLOUD your ability to find him. These can be compared to your past experiences and memories – who you used to be and who used to be in your life. In addition, your life is clouded by your present situation – what’s going on and who surrounds you on a day to day basis.

However, there is this beautiful area on your page where your dreams, desires and wants for the future lie. This is often the area that WALDO resides. The biggest problem about finding Waldo is that he evolves and changes from page to page…and from book to book. On one page he may be wearing a hat or glasses and on another he may have a cane. YET, there is always the similarity of his white and red striped shirt.

Consequently, the only way to find Waldo is to look EVERYWHERE on the page.

How do you find your life’s ‘purpose’?

Try SIFTING through all of the ‘crap’ that clouds your mind. Sometimes this means looking into the past and remembering all of your life changing experiences from where you are now, and sometimes this means SIMPLY being aware of the present moment.

Dare to vision. Dare to dream. Dare to be just that little bit different.
And remember, once you find it, it’s like you can’t believe you couldn’t see it.