Power of Christmas

Snowflakes flutter from the cold winter sky; they are on the ground again. Rosy red cheeks find warmth by crackling fires; we can all feel the Christmas vibe.

BUT, what is different about this Christmas?

Who will be there?

Who can’t make it?

Who do you wish could be there but simply cannot?

Acknowledge how Christmas 2008 will be different than all the years past and CELEBRATE THAT!

Enjoy its uniqueness.

Cherish this year for what it is, instead of what it cannot be.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you all!

Warmly,

Coach Q

Power of Mr. Rogers

Last week a Canadian legend passed away at age 75. His name was Mr. Ted Rogers.

After his death was reported several news casters and friends began calling him “a visionary", an idealist who could see into the future. One article read boldly, “A MAN WITH VISION”.

Yet, Ted Rogers could not predict the future, nor could he tell you your fortune. His talent was his ability to visualize what he wanted (or thought Canada needed) and to create just that.

He was a both a visionary and A CREATOR. Life didn’t just happen to Ted Rogers – Ted Rogers made life happen.

He was an inspiration. May he rest in peace.

Check out the online tribute: http://www.tedrogerstribute.com/

Power of “20 quid”

Last week I learned a very valuable lesson. That is, the understated importance of “20 quid”.

Hypnotherapist Gary Foster spoke at an event about how ‘positive thinking’ is just not enough to succeed in our world. He claims that one must also take ACTION.

However, the question remains, where does the will to act come from?

Foster stood in front of a room full of people with 20 quid in hand asking whether we would like to be making more money in our businesses. Every hand in the audience was raised.

He then proceeded to ask, “Would you LIKE to have more money?” As he repeated this phrase, his voice grew louder and louder.

“Would you LIKE to have more money?”

“Would you LIKE to have more money?”

“Would you LIKE to have more money?”

Pounding in my head over and over was, “YES! YES! YES!”…until someone who clearly wanted it more than I stood up to take the twenty pound note.

With hesitation, he sat back down. Then someone else ran up and ripped it from his hands.

She left that day with 20 quid extra in her pocket.

You see, there is a difference between JUST being a positive thinker and positive thinkers who ACT. They are the ones who have the fearlessness, persistence and determination to get up and simply TAKE what they want!

SO, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

Napoleon Hill said it best.

“There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it."

I believe the latter of his sentence to be the most poignant.

However, for a moment let’s take this out of its “money” context and apply it to other aspects of our lives.

Where do you find yourself allowing others to get what they want while you wait patiently?

When do you give your power away? And, to whom?

How often do you find yourself simply ‘wanting’ something but can’t imagine yourself ever having it?

The lesson I learned that day was not about being greedy and taking what you want, it was the importance of having a BURNING desire.

Ask yourself:

What would I LIKE to have more of? (Because you probably won’t get it)
OR

What do I have a burning desire to have? (Because soon enough, this could be yours)

Here lies the difference between the infamous achievers and those who never get what they want.

Who will you be?

Power of Yoda

Everyday I get a quote emailed to me. Often I have never heard the quote before and it gives me a new perspective, motivation or just a simple smile. However,when I looked in my inbox this morning I noticed a very familiar quote.

"Do or do not. There is no try."

-Yoda The Empire Strikes Back

For many years this has been one of my very favourite quotes. I hope it brings as much to you as it has to me.

Power of Belief

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that "the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams".

And my question for you is DO YOU?

Power of Being “Under Construction”

When I was in my second last year of high school I was told that my school was about to undergo some serious reconstruction. An exciting first thought that led to a disappointing after thought It wouldn't be completed until after I had graduated.

The EXACT same situation occurred in university, which made me think, “Just my luck, AGAIN!”

After university, I moved back to Toronto for 8 months during which time the major streets I live near went under heavy “road improvements”.

Yet again, more construction.

When I moved to London I seriously thought I was free from it all until I was very shortly disproven. First my street, then my area’s high road and now, MY NEIGHBOURS HOUSE!

So, after years of thinking (and sometimes screaming) “WHY ME?” I started to think about how this relates to life and this is what I came up with:

Life is “under construction”…that is, to change, to progress, to develop. It’s about getting rid of the old to welcome in the new.

For years I believed that “construction” was following me and I hated it. Now I realize it’s just a simple reminder that I am a work in progress. I can choose to change or be the same.

So can you.

On November 4, 2008 history was made. The world embraced the change it knows it needs.

We can change. Yes, we can.

For many, December is the holiday season. It is busy, fast paced and often quite daunting. Before it officially starts GO UNDER CONSTRUCTION and give yourself an early “gift”!

I once read that if something ‘new’ feels easy, it’s not something new!

CHALLENGE yourself. This month do something you ACTUALLY find to be difficult. But remember that before you can have construction, you have to have some deconstruction.

Get out there and talk to that boy or girl you think is hot, ask your boss for that raise you deserve and dare to tell a friend what you really think.

Power of Perception

PERCEPTION = REALITY

What we see is what we get.

In order to change your reality, you must begin by changing your perception.

This concept may appear simple, yet its power is undeniable.

Try it, see what happens.

Power of ‘Systems’

Recently I read a book called ‘Don’t Waste your Talent’ written by Bob McDonald and Don E. Hutchinson, which takes the reader on a journey towards creating his or her own ‘Personal Vision’.

The most poignant message of the book was about how deeply our ‘systems’ affect us and our life choices. They use the word ‘system’ to describe the many social groups we are a part of, like our family, our school, our place of work, the city we live in and so forth.

Often we get so caught up in assuming the role our systems want or need us to be that we forget to look inside ourselves to ask , “Who do I want to be?” or “What is the role I choose to play?”

Take a moment to recognize all the systems you currently belong to. Then ask yourself, “What affect are these systems having on my life decisions and goals?”

These social systems become structures that heavily influence and, in a sense, determine our actions. We don’t want to disrupt the social world by acting in a way that threatens the structure ….right?

Wrong!

I say…

Why not push the boundaries?

Why not step out of our comfort zone?

Sometimes it feels like society writes us a script, and we simply read from it. So are we just followers, a part in everyone else’s play?

Through my work as a Youth Life Coach I see the effect that our systems can have, if we let them. It feels like people are programmed by their systems to always take the right “next step”; may that be going to university after high school or having children after getting married. But is that what you TRULY want?

Perhaps your answer is yes….but don’t just assume it to be YES. Ask yourself. Question the system. Don’t just be a follower.

Take control of your life and have the courage to get what YOU want out of it.

Power of Frost

For several years Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken" has greatly influenced the way I live my life.

More specifically, the last three lines have always pushed me to walk boldly, take risks and reach the highest of heights.



The Road Not Taken
By: Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Now, think...

When faced with the same position as Frost once was, would you take the road less traveled by?

It could make all the difference...

Power of the ‘Universe’

A few months ago I had an encounter with the “universe” (Energy, God, Karma, Chance, Coincidence, or whatever you choose to call it). I found a phone on the tube and chose to take it, call the last numbers dialed and find a way to return it to its rightful owner. After dialing three people, I had almost given up when finally a Mr. Ed Stanley, an employee of the owner’s phone, picked up. He asked to meet me across town at Liverpool Street Station. I agreed and proceeded to get on to the next tube heading eastbound.

After returning the phone, I headed back down into the tube. Just moments before reaching the westbound, platform a woman stopped me to ask for directions.

Naturally, I stopped and helped her as best I could. As I began to step onto the platform I could hear the sounds of the doors closing and in my mind, all I could think was “JUST MY LUCK!” But then magically THEY OPENED for a split second, just enough time for me to hop, skip and jump right on.

As I landed on the train, a man looked up at me and said “It’s like you have a magnetic field around you”. I smiled and thought, “Just my luck…”

So why am I telling you this story? There are so many conclusions one could draw.

For starters, givers receive. The universe repays you. What goes around comes around.

What do you think?

I think we could all play with the ‘universe’ more often. Instead of automatically saying NO…just say YES.

Try it on and see what happens.

Power of a Final Verdict

The other day I was labeled as “Strait-laced” by someone I have never met before. I found myself caught off guard and rather defensive. Uncertain of his precise meaning, I quickly responded that in my opinion I could not possibly be considered as “strait-laced”.

The following day I felt a similar amount of distress over this judgment so I began to search for the literal meaning. This is what I found:

1. Exaggeratedly proper

2. Excessively strict in behaviour, morality, or opinions

The thing is, if one were to judge someone based simply on their appearance, I can understand how they could come to the conclusion that they are “exaggeratedly proper”. Yet in my view, it is near to impossible to determine that someone is “excessively strict in behaviour, morality, or opinions” based solely on their physical appearance.

I will admit that I am clearly sitting in the defendant’s seat however I still can’t figure out what could possibly have led him to this conclusion. I was wearing a hot pink shirt with black polka dots, messy hair and a huge hole in my tights… exaggeratedly proper? No… excessively strict in behaviour, morality, or opinions? Maybe….

This incident opened my eyes to how often we label, categorize and pigeonhole people.

How often do you find yourself unnecessarily putting a label on someone or something without reason?

In a sense a judgment is like a final verdict; one must support their conclusion with evidence. We consequently prove to ourselves that our original thought, which then became a judgment, is now the only possible conclusion. We make ourselves right.

As a coach I regularly hear my clients judging themselves. Similar to the judgment of others, they search for evidence to make their thoughts right.

How often do you judge your actions, appearance or beliefs based on false evidence?

The problem is that sometimes we make ourselves right for the incorrect reasons. That is, we don’t want to be wrong.

When do you make yourself right to cover up being wrong?

For a moment let’s substitute judgment for compassion. Imagine a world where we all came from a place of openness, consideration and kindness rather than asserting our narrow minded beliefs and final verdicts on both ourselves and others.

Let’s try it out!

I request that you, yes YOU, challenge yourself to replace each judgment you make in the next month with a thought of compassion.

Power of Finding ‘Waldo’ or ‘Wally’

Do you remember the book “Where’s Waldo?” For us North Americans his name was Waldo but in UK he is known as Wally. Whether you called him ‘Waldo’ or ‘Wally’ is irrelevant, the point is that most of us used to spend hours trying to find him on a page full of other characters, unique settings and bright colours. I remember days going by as I sat searching for little Waldo in his red and white stripy shirt and his google-eyed glasses.

Recently I was having a chat with a friend about his direction in life. Like most of my friends who have recently graduated from university, he has no idea what he wants to do. While expressing thoughts about how he feels like he should be doing SOMETHING, he maintains that he just can’t pin point what that SOMETHING is.

Some find it helpful to be rational and practical when planning their future, direction or purpose, but I believe that when one dreams, envisions, and lets their mind expand to see the world of possibilities, they gain the most momentum.

Inside everyone lies this deep sensation that should remind of them of their life’s ‘purpose’. Deeply embedded into what I perceive as our inner core, it sometimes feels hard to reach yet you KNOW it’s there. Similarly, when looking at a page out of “Where’s Waldo” you find it difficult to see him YET you know he is there…somewhere.

Consider a page from “Where’s Waldo?” to be similar to your life and Waldo to be your life’s purpose. When you initially try to find Waldo all you can see are the things that CLOUD your ability to find him. These can be compared to your past experiences and memories – who you used to be and who used to be in your life. In addition, your life is clouded by your present situation – what’s going on and who surrounds you on a day to day basis.

However, there is this beautiful area on your page where your dreams, desires and wants for the future lie. This is often the area that WALDO resides. The biggest problem about finding Waldo is that he evolves and changes from page to page…and from book to book. On one page he may be wearing a hat or glasses and on another he may have a cane. YET, there is always the similarity of his white and red striped shirt.

Consequently, the only way to find Waldo is to look EVERYWHERE on the page.

How do you find your life’s ‘purpose’?

Try SIFTING through all of the ‘crap’ that clouds your mind. Sometimes this means looking into the past and remembering all of your life changing experiences from where you are now, and sometimes this means SIMPLY being aware of the present moment.

Dare to vision. Dare to dream. Dare to be just that little bit different.
And remember, once you find it, it’s like you can’t believe you couldn’t see it.

Power of Choice

“Blanketed by an azure sky, the orange-yellow rays of the setting sun can, at special times, gift us with a moment of such considerable beauty, we find ourselves momentarily stunned, with frozen gaze” (Russel E. Dicarlo).

Whilst living in Edinburgh for the last four years I watched many sunsets on Calton Hill, an experience that resembles the words of Dicarlo, specifically the feeling of being momentarily stunned.

Last week, on my way up to visit Edinburgh I sat wondering if I would have the opportunity to experience the aforementioned beauty. At this moment I also decided that I would look at the city of Edinburgh and my past with a new lens. My aim became to soak up all my old memories, perspectives and visions while looking with new eyes.

The decisions I made on that train ride made the weekend a pivotal turning point in my life. I learned the power of CHOICE.

I consciously CHOSE that I would look at Edinburgh with the most POSITIVE perspective I could imagine, which I labeled COMPLETE OPTIMISM. There were several other perspectives I could have enveloped like “Sadness” or even “Reflection” but there was something so new and refreshing about COMPLETE OPTIMISM.

As a result of this choice, the weekend left a defining impact on my life. I went there with an open mind and left with a beautiful and life enhancing way of thinking.

In order to live out my new perspective I really had to get into it. In the coaching world we speak of something called ‘Geography’. Most of you are probably thinking that you know what that word means…but in the context of coaching it is slightly different. Coaches use the word Geography to describe the physical positions of our body, the way in which we feel in varying places and through different movement. These varying postures can have great impact on our emotions and feelings.

So, while I was there I used my geography by making sure I was OUTSIDE, walking around and embracing the city. I saw lots of people and was always conscious of the smells, weather and beauty that surrounded me. I noticed that I was fully in COMPLETE OPTIMISM when I walked with my sunglasses on, ipod earphones in and I thought about WHO I AM. I was not only at peace but I was FULLY present.

The back story of all of this is that I had a boyfriend throughout all of university and we broke up a few months ago. I could have easily gone back and been miserable. I COULD have chosen to wallow in my sorrows and feel the loss of my relationship. Instead, I CHOSE to take on a new perspective.

There is power in choice….IF you take advantage of that power. Otherwise, it controls you and you are left feeling “choiceless”.

As I sit here now I am beginning to realize that choice is one of the most empowering aspects of being human. It allows us to see options, perspectives and opportunities, and then DECIDE what is right for us. What else could be more empowering? When one feels down, they are choosing to be that way.

The best part about a sun setting is that the sun also rises. When one door closes, hundreds of windows open. On my last night in Edinburgh I was able to watch the sunrise for the very first time. As the sky turned a light yellowy pink and the sun peaked out from under the sea I felt change in myself.

Not to mention, I may have had a cute boy beside me.

Power of Attachment

The other day I went to the cash machine to take out some money. I pressed £40 because I knew I had some things to buy the following morning. It was an ATM machine with a £1.60 charge. Sadly, that night I lost £41.60.

I was completely gutted when I realized that I had stupidly left the money in the machine. I was angry with myself and also at the machine for not beeping loudly enough as I walked away.

At the moment I realized the money was gone, I felt like the money had been STOLEN out from under me. When I went to pay for my ticket to see a friend’s gig I told the woman my story. She replied, “Education is expensive. Literally.”

What a great lesson that woman tried to teach me. She is right; education is expensive. Yet, the real lesson for me was more about my ATTACHMENT to money, and in the end, material things.

Contemporary society spends so much of its time worrying about our “stuff” – we have insurance for just about EVERYTHING and overdramatize loss by comparing it to death.
We are dependent and attached. It’s quite simple really.

If someone were to burn down your house, what would you be upset to lose?

o Clothing?
o Photographs?
o Everything?

Take a moment right now to think about these questions:

What do I value most?
What are my greatest needs?
What (or even who) am I attached to?

Now take a look at your list of values, needs and attachments – how many of them are material or related to something material? You see, even the basic need for shelter is something we become attached to. We don’t just value the roof over our head, but rather how big the garage is so that it can fit in all the cars.

I find that the power of attachment can manifest in a variety of ways – anger, sadness, anxiousness and in some ways, happiness. For when we GET something, we often feel a sense of satisfaction, joy and fulfillment. That is, until we lose it. Then the cycle persists.

There is a level of anxiety and chaos that attachment creates – just think about the wars that have been fought due to our attachment to land.

From my point of view, it’s simply time to smarten up. We as a society need to lose this attachment in order to truly be at peace with ourselves.

We must be able to simply ‘let go’ – both physically and metaphorically of the ‘stuff’ in our lives.

Lose the attachment, GAIN MORE.

Power of the ‘Mind-Closet’

Often spring is thought of as the time of year for cleaning out the closet and forward thinking. It’s almost like a new year. We turn the clocks an hour forward in order to have more daylight and begin to realize that we should be taking advantage of life. Yet old habits die hard, don’t they? As we attempt to clear out the old boxes, books and clothes, sometimes what we really need is to clear out our ‘mind-closet’.

The self-limiting beliefs of last year are still not getting us anywhere. In fact, they simply hinder our progress and encumber our development.

If spring is about moving forward, I wonder, why don’t we embrace the leap?

This is when reality sets in and our self-limiting beliefs return to inhibit us. We find ourselves as inactive as before, with a fading memory of how spring had momentarily inspired us.

Take a moment to think and ask yourself these questions.

What beliefs about myself or the world do I carry with me? Then ask yourself, are these beliefs having a positive influence in my life?

If yes, keep them up. In fact, encourage and nourish them.

If no, DITCH them.

For those of you interested in digging deeper into the archives of the mind-closet, I would like to share a story with you.

When I finally thought concepts like the glass ceiling had been broken, a friend shared with me the other day that although she would be making a lot of money in a few years, she would never be able to make as much money as a man in her same position. And I thought to myself, “She could never make as much money? But, girls can do anything!”

If I ever believed myself incapable of doing something, I would not be where I am today.

We all have our doubts, our insecurities and our self-limiting beliefs – so this spring start UNPACKING, and allow yourself to lead a lighter life. Look within yourself and recognize that the voice in your head, the monkey on your shoulder and the gremlin lurking in the shadows are only there because YOU allow them to be.

So what am I asking you to do?

1. Be honest with yourself.
2. Allow yourself to acknowledge and experience those inhibiting thoughts and beliefs.
3. Then, make a conscious choice to disengage with these beliefs.
4. Forgive yourself if you find this difficult.

The fact is if you want to, you can. It’s when you don’t allow yourself to wish, dream or desire that you hold yourself back. Don’t let your beliefs get the best of you. AnyONE can do anyTHING. Allow yourself to open your mind, bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. See the world for what it is, a place of opportunity, rather than letting yourself be shadowed by your fears.

Life is about choice. Take control of it. Make the choice to clear out your ‘mind-closet’!

Welcome!

Welcome to Coach Quinn's first blogging site! I am really excited about this whole "blog" thing but have yet to really get into it. I am going to try and have fun with it and hope you will enjoy! Coachquinn.com is my official website and I will refer you to it when it is A. up and running and B. applicable to what I am writing about.

Have a great day!